Be Kind To Yourself First
There are days when we cannot be the million different necessary roles that people depend on us to be. There are days when being mom, daughter, sister, cousin, friend, niece, partner, fiancé, wife, employee, activist, motivational speaker, shoulder to cry on….is just too much. There’s going to be days when you cannot mentally meet everyone’s needs. There will be times when we are harsh on ourselves for not being mentally capable of being the answer to everyone’s problems- and that’s okay!
These days are meant for solitude. Your soul is telling you it needs a minute to recharge. You can't be everyone’s savior today because you need to take the time to be kind to yourself. Don't be angry at yourself or try to force yourself to accommodate others. Take this time to be at peace with what your body needs. Its perfectly okay to need a moment for self love.
Meditate and concentrate on what your spirit is telling you. How many days/weeks/months have you spent being the savior? Your spirit needs a rest now, listen to it and embrace it. Sit in solitude, lay in a field and feel the open space, stick your bare feet in a bit earth for a few moments, reconnect, recharge. Don’t feel bad for this!!!
This is a reminder to myself, to be okay with needing time. A reminder that its okay to be exhausted from being everyone else’s shield. This is not only normal, it's necessary. Take a moment to teach yourself some boundaries before you stretch yourself too thin.
A story of self love in nature:
There is a tree in my front yard that started out as a precious sapling but grew into a mighty oak. It was never trimmed so it never learned boundaries. It never learned that we would be okay without its constant growth as it tried to shield us from the sun. And we never loved it enough to teach it when to be still. So this tree grew branches too heavy for the trunk to hold up and too long for anyone to hold. Its only concern was caring for us and giving us shade and it kept growing until its shade covered our whole front yard. It grew to dangerous heights and lengths. Because it hadn’t been cared for properly, it never learned to care for itself and to stop reaching further if it couldn’t hold itself up. One day the tree split and came crashing down. We were forced to chop it all down to just a piece of trunk. It was asked of me to cut it down to a stump and kill it. But I knew me and this tree had something in common. We had allowed ourselves to stretch our love for other so far and high that we had injured ourselves in the process. We just needed some self love. We just needed to learn our boundaries. So I kept my mighty tree and 8 months later, its begun to grow back. And its small little green growths are popping up all over the trunk. It took its time to sprout and I take the time to trim it. We take care of each other and we take care of ourselves. I come and sit here in solitude even without the shade it used to give and I water it to remind it to drink and I trim it to remind the tree that it has to learn boundaries. It took time to grow back and it sprouted in different places, not just where it was cut. Its as if the tree knows that we can’t go back to the way things were, we hurt ourselves that way but through healing and self care, we can learn to grow in places we never considered before. One day this tree will shade my grandchildren running around my yard and I'll tell them the story of the momma and the tree who once broke themselves in pursuit of others happiness but became whole together as we learned to love ourselves. I will show them the ends of the branches and teach them about boundaries. I will push them on the swing hanging from a sturdy branch and tell them how it learned to be so strong. I am grateful to Mother Earth for these lessons and today I take time in solitude to be kind to myself first.
